John Riley, the recently appointed experience strategy director at Cognizant DX and Zone, shares his changed approach to Pride…
I have to admit that I have a complicated relationship with Pride. While I enjoy the parades and festivals as much as the next cis male homosexual living in a big city, I have pangs of guilt when I reflect on the gulf between Soho celebrations every June (or September this year) and gay activists in Ghana being arrested simply for being who they are.
Pride is still critically important, as one of my colleagues Kristof Hamilton, reminded Zone last week. Discrimination, abuse and bias are still ever present today — whether in the guise of bias influencing hiring and promotion decisions or blatant violence against the LGTBQIA+ community. And comparing pain and trauma across groups is not useful.
In this context, I’ve recently been reflecting on how my identity — an expat (or immigrant?), black, American, gay, professional and city dweller (among other things) — shapes the way I operate in the workplace. That reflection has been both eye-opening and, honestly, disappointing. The fact of the matter is that while in my personal life, I usually behave as my whole self, I shift and contort that ‘whole self’ in the workplace to accommodate both real and perceived biases.
I have been a consultant for my entire career. I’ve worked around the world — from the US to Japan, South Africa and Australia to the UAE. In all of that time, I have never had a key client who was black or openly LGTBQ. Nor have any of the people I’ve reported to been of a similar background or identity as me. I have almost always been one of a handful of POC consultants and one of a slightly larger group of predominately gay or lesbian colleagues.
Being POC and LGBTQ in the workplace means that I have (mainly sub-consciously) adapted my behaviour to protect myself and do I what I thought was necessary to be successful in my career. From always being the diplomat (so as not to appear too angry) to focusing on numbers and commercials (so I’m not perceived as too frivolous or camp) to always feeling the need to be perfect and useful at all times to justify my position. The image has been carefully constructed and meticulously performed.
I’ve fashioned a workplace identity which, while not completely distinct from who I really am, represents a contorted version designed to excel in a modern professional services environment. The thing I’m most ashamed of is priming facets of my identity that are more impressive or likely to fit in, instead of the parts of my identity which carry less privilege. From mentioning the Ivy League education and the global nature of my experience or my happy engagement to my partner in team and client conversations as opposed to my state school education or the fact that I’m a direct descendant of slaves and grew up in a decidedly middle-class (working-class in British parlance) environment.
I do this as much to establish an impression with my audience as I do to protect myself from the assumptions and the bias I think will follow if I present the ‘wrong’ thing about me. This comes with a cost. This type of posturing has been a disservice to colleagues and clients by taking away their agency and has been a missed opportunity to create a more inclusive, open and safe working space for those around me.
So, this Pride season I’m making a conscious decision to actually be as Proud in the workplace as I am in other settings. For me, this means:
- Being my whole self: This about more than being ‘out’. It’s about being transparent and honest about who you are and avoiding self-censorship in fear of not fitting in. Bringing one’s whole self is not just about self-realisation in the workplace, but also helps those around you feel more comfortable, appreciated and empowered to do the same. It’s also about being vulnerable and transparent when some of the feelings of isolation and being misunderstood arise from not being part of the majority in the workplace.
- Lifting others up: One of the most isolating aspects of being a queer POC in the workplace is the lack of mentorship and sponsorship activities. There is a big opportunity for those of us in leadership to proactively identify spaces and opportunities to seek out and lift up others who may be experiencing similar feelings of isolation.
- Being proud as well as celebrating Pride: Whether it’s Whitney or RuPaul, gay icons have been telling us to love ourselves for decades. For me, saying the words is easier than living them. That said, we can demonstrate Pride by actively and visibly loving our whole selves and being role models for others in the workplace. Not just in June, but throughout the year.
