How emotional intelligence will help you bring your whole self to work

Zone’s Alix Tenneson discusses how taking control of your emotions can help you thrive in the workplace…

More and more, we are encouraged to bring our whole self to work. Personally, I feel both welcoming and weary of this idea.

For so long, we’ve been led to believe that professionalism is intrinsically linked with behaving stoically and not bringing personal matters into work. So we all developed emotionless work personas, right?

But recent studies have shown that when people show more of their real self at work, they also think bigger and push boundaries more often. Teams thrive and business performance soars. As does the mental wellbeing of the individuals within the teams.

This sounds great. And many employers would agree. They’re working hard to provide environments of ‘psychological safety’ to help us feel safe enough to take risks, express ourselves, share and be vulnerable around each other while we’re at work.

But what if you don’t feel confident enough to operate in this way?

Maybe it’s just me who feels a twang of anxiety at the thought of bringing my whole self to work, but I doubt it. It’s a significant shift and a big ask. If you’re anything like me, it still feels a little scary to step away from my well-trodden ways that are so ingrained and adopt these new behaviours, even though the value in making the change is obvious.

However, things changed when I learned more about EQ and the important role it plays at work. You might be asking: what is EQ? And how is it relevant here?

EQ (sometimes called emotional quotient or emotional intelligence) refers to a person’s ability to understand and manage their emotions and the emotions of those around them. It also refers to how effectively emotional understanding is utilised when making decisions and problem-solving.

These competencies tend to be more prevalent in our personal lives, but they play an important role in the workplace, too. Studies have shown that people who have a high EQ also tend to be strong communicators, leaders and adept at conflict management and relationship building at work. They also tend to feel above-average job satisfaction.

Some people are naturally better at reasoning with emotions than others, but, like with almost all skills, emotional intelligence is something that anyone can improve with training and practice.

There are five elements that make up EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, social skills, empathy and motivation. Working on becoming more self-aware and improving your self-regulation is a great place to start if you want to nurture your EQ, as it’s the foundation of good emotional intelligence and will help you to feel in control of your emotions.

When you are self-aware, you are able to recognise and understand the causes of your emotions. With this knowledge, you’re able to respond — not react — and think rationally about the situation before you make your next move.

You can start improving your self-awareness by paying attention to how you feel in different situations and how those emotions influence what you say and do in daily life. You’ll likely start to see patterns in behaviour, which will help you to understand your emotional strengths and weaknesses and suggest areas where you could start to work on self-regulation.

For example, you might find yourself feeling impatient or irritated by a forgetful co-worker and impulsively reflecting those emotions in your facial expressions and body language. This is being reactive, which means your emotions surface in the moment without any filter. This unfiltered reaction may negatively impact your colleague’s perception of you and your personal brand.

But now that you’re aware of this behaviour trait, next time a co-worker forgets something, practise self-regulation. Avoid those impulsive reactions and emotional outbursts, choose instead to manage how you are feeling and then respond in a more controlled way. This is the cornerstone of good emotional intelligence.

Since learning more about EQ and the power and value of emotions in the workplace, I feel better equipped and more confident to bring my whole self to work. My EQ will always be a work in progress, but it’s time well-invested because as the definition of professionalism evolves, we all need to be upskilling our EQs.